BOFH SysAdmin

It is good or not good to be a System/Network Administrator , and act like BOFH stories? what do you think?

The System Administrator Song

There’s a guy who works in another room, or on another floor.
He’s the one you call, when your document ain’t there no more.
He’s probably a boy, but he might be a girl, or something in between.
He’s the only one in the office who knows what PC Load Letter means.

He’s your system administrator, he’s probably into comic books.
And you tremble in fear when you have to hear one of his “What a dummy!” looks.
Got a virus? Lost your password? Or you just can’t print?
In an hour he’ll show up and crouch and squint.
Fight to save your files, he might be there all day,
But sometimes he just presses Caps Lock and walks away.

(Spoken) But HEY! Suddenly my password works! Wow! Hooray!

Hooray, hooray, oh happy day! I’m gonna buy my guy a gift to say:
Having you around means I get to stay stupid! and uninformed!
And I can keep opening dot e-x-e file attachments,
And forgetting my mother’s maiden name, ’cause you’ll fix it all for me, Yay!

I’ll give you a cake, I’ll give you a hug,
I’ll buy the world’s best System Administrator mug.
Just help me out, system administrator.
Please plug in my mouse, system administrator.
I don’t know which button is the mouse click button, system administrator.

Piss him off, and you’ll be fired by tomorrow morn.
‘Cause he’s the guy who knows that you’ve been surfing porn.
So, make sure you stay nice to your system administrator.

– more: UKUUG System Administrator Day Song
Everything Sysadmin
The Sysadmin Price List
– YES ! next SAAD is around next summer, but I have just mentioned this poem, because this funny search result appeared in my blog stat BOFH Sysadmin – Google Search LOL I was the first item :))

Top 100 Network Security Tools + 1

After 3 years , Fyodor updated the famous Top 100 Network Security Tools list with the help of nmap-hackers mailing list. it is actually consist of 101 Network Security Tools because Nmap is not included !
There is 42 newcomer to the list, and most of them belong to penetration testing and ( especially application vulnerability scanning ).the most different member of the is The Big G, Google (#34)! here you can seen newcomers gang !

  1. Metasploit Framework
  2. Paros proxy
  3. Aircrack
  4. Sysinternals
  5. Scapy
  6. BackTrack
  7. P0f
  8. Google
  9. WebScarab
  10. WebInspect
  11. Core Impact
  12. IDA Pro
  13. RainbowCrack
  14. Angry IP Scanner
  15. RKHunter
  16. Ike-scan
  17. KisMAC
  19. Tor
  20. Knoppix
  21. chkrootkit
  22. Yersinia
  23. Nagios
  24. X-scan
  25. Socat
  26. QualysGuard
  27. ClamAV
  28. Burpsuite
  29. Unicornscan
  30. BASE
  31. Argus
  32. Wikto
  33. Sguil
  34. IP Filter
  35. Canvas
  36. VMware :
  37. OpenVPN
  38. OllyDbg
  39. Helix
  40. Acunetix Web Vulnerability Scanner
  41. TrueCrypt
  42. Watchfire AppScan


I used to act like a real BOFH some month ago hehe ! and it is a really funny job, although it is not a new story, from new series, but let me give u some smile on your face :

"I…" the Boss starts, then thinks the better of it. "So, how do we access the online resources that we used to?"
"Which online resources are they then?"
"Oh, just online stuff. Some of my stuff isn't working any more."
"The online virus downloading site?"
"The Russian 'shareware movie' site that you watch movies on."

"Oh puleese, we monitor peer-to-peer networking like hawks. Mainly to see if there's anything good coming down, but also because it's virus central if you're not too selective about what you download. IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN," the PFY says, nudging the boss's arm.
"No, they said that there were no copyright issues because the site's in Turgekenistan!" >>> BOFH: That security thang

    – BOFH New Series At The Registe
    – The Bastard Operator From Hell ( The Complete WWW Edition )
    – The Compleat BOFH Archives 95-99

Note: is not working as a BOFH Archive now, because it seems Simon Travaglia has lost his Dad. God Bless Him.

technorati tags:

Argus Monitoring System

Argus is a system and network monitoring application. It will monitor nearly anything you ask it to monitor (TCP + UDP applications, IP connectivity, SNMP OIDS, etc). It presents a clean, easy-to-view Web interface. It can send alerts numerous ways (such as via pager) and can automatically escalate if someone falls asleep.

simple but not very effective. good for mid-range netwroks.

HTTP Anti Virus Proxy

HAVP (HTTP Anti Virus Proxy) is a proxy which scans downloads for viruses with ClamAV, F-Prot, or Kaspersky. The main aims are continuous, non-blocking downloads and smooth scanning of dynamic and password protected HTTP traffic. It can be used with squid or standalone, and it also supports transparent proxy mode.

anybody test it? any news or problem? going to test it on squid asap !

NOC list

it is really strange if somebody in Iran face to a network problem that must be solve by a real NOC. however if any time you faced such a problem, you can take a look at this list – Network Operations Centers List -. you should find which one you are using , and then just contact them and hope to somebody responsible answer the phone !

one of the largest NOC is Global NOC located at Indiana University. it is managing extra large networks and systems like Internet2, iGrid and iVDGL.